


It's getting hot in here

by Sweet_Solitude



Category: Bright (2017)
Genre: Crack, Gay Sex, Horny Elf, Humor, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Police Uniforms, Sad Ending, Sexual Humor, Showers, Tender Sex, because i'm evil, not sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-01-11
Packaged: 2019-02-24 15:03:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13216299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sweet_Solitude/pseuds/Sweet_Solitude
Summary: A police station, bunch of men in uniforms, and one very, very horny elf.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I really liked Kandomere’s character, and for an elf, he wasn’t so bad. BUT! The plate on his chest says “Elves above all”, which means he still is a little supremacist after all, so I decided to punish that haughty point-eared bastard.  
> I present to you - Kandomere in heat.

Nick and Darryl just got back to the station after a really tough day patrolling the streets, when on the way to the locker room, they were greeted with loud screams and shrieks. They stopped and looked at each other, wondering what was going on. 

“Take that bitch outta here!” Someone shouted. “He tried to hump me!”

Daryl took a few steps forward and peeked into the room, seeing a group of police officers, of whom some were only in towels or underwear, standing before the entrance to the showers with a horrified look on their face. Another officer came running out of the showers while holding his towel tighter around his hips.

Nick came from behind Daryl and looked around, while his nostrils flared.

“There’s someone else in here…”

“What do you mean? Who?” Daryl looked back at him, confused.

Then, suddenly, they saw a silhouette of a man in the steam coming out of the shower. He stepped into the locker room and Daryl raised his eye brows, recognizing his blue hair, pointy ears and his well tailored suit. What was an FBI agent doing in here? Then he noticed the look on Kandomere’s face.

His eyes had blown pupils and he was smiling, while biting on his lower lips. His face was flushed and the collar of his shirt was undone. 

“If you boys don’t get your sweet butts over to me, I’m gonna go over there, and get them myself!” He flipped his hair back and looked at the officers with hungry eyes. The men tried to cover themselves up and huddled together, trying not to look at Kandomere.

Daryl felt his mouth opening wide while he stared at the scene. Nick never looked so perplexed.

The elf took a step forward, while the group of officers took one back, whimpering.

“I am not gonna repeat myself.” he said while rolling up his sleeves.

“Hey, what is going on here?” Daryl was absolutely confused.

Kandomere flipped his head in his direction, surprised.

“Well… officer Ward! And in uniform!” the elf looked Daryl up and down, with an impish grin.

“Daryl, run!” one of the huddled officers yelled.

“Mmmm…” Kandomere noticed Nick who was staring at him clueless. “I’ve never had an Orc before…” he said with a husky voice and both Nick and Daryl couldn’t believe their ears.

“Let me through!” they heard someone yelling. Montehugh was running through the hallway towards them. “Fuck!” He was holding handcuffs, and grabbed Kandomere’s arms before he could reach Nick and Daryl. He cuffed the elf who looked very unhappy.

“Oh come Hildebrandt, you can join in on the fun if you want to!” he said while winking at his partner.

Montehugh looked tired and annoyed. He pushed the elf towards the exit.

“If you mention this to anyone, you can kiss your badges away!” He shouted at the group in the locker room. The officers didn’t look like they would want to share the story of their experience with anybody beside a therapist.

“You two follow me.” Nick and Daryl went after Montehugh to the captain’s office, where Kandomere was sat in a chair, whining. They stood in the middle of the room, not sure what to do or say.

The captain looked stressed and apparently he knew what was going on. Montehugh sat on the desk with a deep sigh.

“I expect you to keep the information I am about to share with you for yourselves, understood?” His expression was really serious. The two men nodded and waited for him to continue.

“About twenty years ago, when agent Kandomere was close to catching Leilah, she punished him with a curse. Sometimes, he… experiences what you could call…a heat.”

Daryl just couldn’t control himself and snorted loudly, while Nick looked at Kandomere, who in returned winked at him.

“I swear if you do that one more time you’ll regret waking up today.” Montehugh wasn’t pleased at Daryl’s reaction.

“It’s really hard to predict when it’s gonna hit, so we get surprised a lot, and as soon as it happens, he tries to run off, like today. We only knew where he was when your captain called us. Last time he went to a gym and harassed the guys there, and before that it was the fire station.”

Daryl prayed to be strong enough not to burst out in laughter. This was the funniest shit he has ever heard.

“That’s… horrible…” Nick didn’t know what else to say.

“I just like beefcakes and uniforms.” Kandomere said with a pout. Montehugh closed his eyes and sighed again.

“It’s a fucking nightmare. We’re looking for a Bright skilled enough to break the curse but we were unsuccessful so far.” He explained while Kandomere squirmed in his chair, staring at Nick’s butt.

“We hope that with the wand we retrieved from Leilah it will be easier to do it.” 

“We’ll keep it secret until you find that Bright, Sir!” Nick assured him. 

“Awesome.” Montehugh said with a sarcastic tone.

“I’m taking him back, he’s gonna need to spent some time in a cell until it passes.” He got the elf to stand up and guided him towards the door.

“Can we go get some ice cream? Like a popsicle? I need to suck on something.” Kandomere said with a whine while his partner pushed him harder.

“Please, stop talking.”

Daryl looked really amused and started giggling at the elf’s words while Nick’s ears twitched nervously.

They followed the agents to the hallway where Kandomere gasped loudly at the centaur officer.

“Oh honey, I would like to go on a ride!” he tried to wiggle himself out of Montehugh’s grip.

“Not today, and please stop talking already!” he said and finally they disappeared behind the front door.

“Well, he’s gonna be sooo embarrassed when we see him next time!” Daryl couldn’t stop smiling and Nick giggled.

“I don’t think we’ll see him that soon after what happened, he’s gonna avoid us like fire now!”

“Yeah, you’re right” 

They turned around and went back to the locker room in much better moods than before


	2. Not so much of a crack because I want everyone to suffer with me ok?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You don't need a Bright to break the curse, Kando mah man, you need some bluish, orkish d****. Not kidding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brace yourselves for the ending. Drama.

This must be some kind of mistake.

Kandomere was staring at Tikka, feeling as if someone just slapped him in the face, while she was avoiding his eyes. Montehugh just stood there, with his mouth open, looking at both of them.

“What do you mean…this is the only way the curse can be broken?” he spoke with a hushed tone, but with clenched teeth.

“That’s what Leilah said. You can only break it, if you mate with an Orc, and it can’t be during the heat.” Tikka flashed him an apologetic grin.

Kandomere turned away, and paced around the room nervously, his eyes scanning his surroundings as if looking for an another solution, or something heavy to hit himself with, because this was clearly a nightmare and he had to wake up.

Montehugh knew he should better avoid looking at Kandomere right now, in case the elf could read what was going on in his mind. He was, of course, feeling sorry for the man, but also, this shit was undeniably hilarious. He couldn’t imagine his partner getting jiggy with an orc, not while sober.

The elf stopped, took a deep breath and looked at Montehugh.

“Fine, if I want to be released, I’ll have to do it.”

Later that day, when Nick was exiting the station after work, he spotted Montehugh on the parking lot, leaning on his car. 

“Jakoby, get in.” He said and without any further explanation why he needed Nick in the car, he got behind the wheel and closed the door.

Nick was baffled, but he decided not to let the agent wait and obeyed, while getting onto the back seat. He noticed the elf agent sitting on the passenger seat and greeted both men. They didn’t answer him.

Montehugh started the car and nobody talked for the entire time, while Nick was getting more and more anxious. He hoped this wasn’t related to the incident few weeks ago, when he and Ward learned about the curse Leilah placed on Kandomere. Were they about to threaten him some more? Or maybe the secret got out and they thought he told someone about it?

The car stopped in front of the FBI HQ, and Nick followed the two agents inside. They got into an office and Montehugh closed the door behind Nick.

“Sit down.” he said.

Nick took a seat in front of the desk and Kandomere sat opposite him, looking really unhappy.

“Officer Jakoby.” he sounded tense. “I’m not going to beat around the bush and spare ourselves some time and nerves…” He wasn’t looking at Nick and kept tapping his fingers on the desk. “We found a solution to the…problem I have.” He looked up at Nick, who was sitting there all ears and nervous.

“That’s uhh, that’s great, right?” He asked still not understanding why they brought him here for.

“Yes, it is great indeed. But the problem here is, we…” he stopped for a second “I need you’re help, to break the curse.”

“M-me? How? How can I possibly help you?”

“Of all Orcs I’ve met, you seem to be the most, well, docile one.” Nick’s eyes got rounder at that. “And if I had to have intercourse with an orc, I would rather like it to be you.” He looked Nick straight in the eyes and the poor officer wasn’t sure if he heard right.

“Intercourse?” he repeated.

“Yes, it’s the only way to break the curse. So I am asking you, nicely, if you were willing to have sex with me.” If Kandomere was breaking inside while saying these words, he didn’t show it. He remained the stoic, cold elf he was proud to be.

Nick needed a few moments to properly digest Kandomere’s question. He just couldn’t wrap his mind around it.

“I think… I need to think about this, if you’ll allow me.” he managed to say quietly.

“Of course, take your time. It doesn’t have to be today, or tomorrow.” Kandomere cleared his throat. “Montehugh will take you back of course.” He waved his hand at him, as if he was trying to chase away a fly.  
Nick nodded and left after the red haired agent.

Back at home, he was still baffled about the whole situation. He decided to give it more thoughts tomorrow and just get some rest for now. He brushed his teeth, put on some comfy pajama pants and lied down on his bed with a deep sigh. It wasn’t long before he fell asleep.

A couple of hours later, he was woken by loud banging on his door. He glanced on his alarm clock, it was past 2am. Wondering what kind of emergency it might be, he rushed to the door and opened it.  
On the other side, there stood Kandomere, with disheveled hair, sweaty, leaning on the door frame.

“Found you” he said with a smirk and before Nick could react in any way, he jumped at him, wrapping his legs around Nick’s middle.

“Were you waiting for me?” he purred into his ear.

“No! Jesus, you said you’ll give me time to think!” Nick was panicking a little, especially since the elves erection was rammed against his stomach.

“Well it’s been hours honey, I couldn’t wait any longer!”

In that moment Nick realized that Kandomere was in his heat again. The elf started to grind against him and Nick snapped out of his shock and tried to untangle himself from the agent. Unfortunately, as he already learned from his fight with Leilah, Elves were just as strong as orcs and it wasn’t that easy to detach himself from Kandomere.

He had to think of a way to incapacitate him somehow.

“Why don’t you… take off your clothes first?” he suggested.

Kandomere gasped and looked at him happily. He jumped down and started unbuttoning his purple vest. Right now, Nick had to act quickly. He moved closer to a drawer, and when Kandomere was busy pulling down his pants, he took handcuffs out of it and jumped behind the elf. Two swift moves and he was cuffed.

Kandomere looked back at him, with a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. “Kinky, aren’t we?” He ogled Nick’s bare chest. “I want to track the patterns on those pecs with my tongue.” He stepped closer and Nick picked him up and threw him over his shoulder, which elicited a squeal from the elf.

“Yes! Throw me on the bed!” he yelled, excited.

But Nick went straight to the bathroom and put the elf in the tub, cuffing him to the pipe with a second pair of handcuffs ans turning on the shower, making sure it was cold. 

“I think you should stay here until it passes.” He said with a sigh.

Kandomere was whining, unhappy, accusing Nick of hurting his feelings. After an hour, he actually calmed down a little, but his pupils were still blown and Nick knew it wasn’t over. He wasn’t gonna let him out of there until the agent started acting rationally.

Nick turned off the water, when Kandomere started to shake a little. He looked at him with puppy eyes, with strands of wet hair glued to his face and a pout. When it was close to 6am, he knew that the heat wasn’t passing soon, so he decided to call Ward and tell him he won’t go to work today, because he couldn’t leave Kandomere alone in his apartment, cuffed to the shower pipe. He explained the situation and heard his partner chocking on laughter on the other side of the line. Ward promised to cover for him and make up some story about Nick being ill.

As the day progressed, Nick took care of the squirming and whining Kandomere, wiped him dry with a towel and put a blanket over him, brought him drinks and food, with the elf insisting that Nick feeds him, which was difficult when he hummed at every bite, looking straight at nick and waggled his eyebrows. It wasn’t easy to look at this, because he had to think what it does to Kandomere when he is himself.

Around evening, Nick was so tired, having slept only for three hours, that he passed out on the bathroom floor, beside the tub.

He woke up to someone saying his name. Nick opened his eyes and looked up, seeing Kandomere’s serious expression over the edge of the tub.

“Officer Jakoby, I think you might want to release me now.” From the look on his face Nick knew the heat was over, and the agent was not happy about the incident. He got up and looked at the messy elf, taking keys to the handcuffs out of the pocket in his pants. 

He released Kandomere, who sighed deeply and pinched the bridge of his nose.

“I apologize.” he said while still in the tub. “I can’t even describe how humiliating this is for me.” He didn’t have to, Nick knew how this must’ve felt.

Nick was never able to just watch as someone suffered, so he made a decision.

He took Kandomere’s hand and helped him to stand up.

“Don’t worry about this.” he didn’t let go of his hand as the elf got out of the tub. “I’ll help you.” he said. Just this.

Kandomere looked at him with a pained expression, but then lowered his eyes down at his feet and nodded.

Nick led him into his bedroom and turned off the lights. The elf stood there, beside the bed, and Nick knew how difficult it must be for him.

To ease his nerves, he got close to him and put his hand on Kandomere’s face, brushing his cheek with his thumb. There was resignation in his eyes, which was expectable. Nick didn’t want to drag this out for him, so he closed the gap between them, and kissed the elf.

Kandomere was stiff at first, but Nick continued, trying to be careful, and after few seconds, he felt a soft response. Kandomere kissed him back, tentative at first, but when Nick pressed against him a little harder, he put his hands on his shoulders.

After a while Nick decided to deepen the kiss and licked into the elves mouth. This drew out a soft moan out of Kandomere.

Nick broke the kiss and looked at the other man. It was dark, but his orkish eyes were good enough to notice the soft blush on the elves pale cheeks, and his hooded eyes. He gripped Kandomere’s arms and gave him a little push onto the bed, going after him, covering the elf with his body and kissing him again.

His hands wandered over his side, his stomach, and Kandomere wrapped his arms around his neck, moaning, tasting Nick’s tongue on his own. Nick didn’t even notice when they took off the rest of their clothing. He was pressed onto the naked elf now, feeling dizzy.

Kandomere couldn’t remember when was the last time he felt this way, or someone touched him in such gentle manner, took care of him like this orc officer had for the past day. His touches felt like fire on his skin and he was diving into this feeling deeper with every second.

Nick was as considerate as possible with him, not knowing if the sex alone was enough to break the curse, or if it required Kandomere to enjoy it. So he did what he could to make it as pleasurable as possible for him. He knew he was doing the right thing, judging by the sounds the elf made.   
Nick felt Kandomere’s nails on his back and knew he was close. He brushed a strand of hair from his sweaty forehead and the elf whined at this gentle gesture.

Nick lowered his head and brought his lips to his ear. “I want you to cum, now” he whispered. This was it for the elf. He screamed, tightening his embrace around Nick, who followed him into ecstasy after few seconds.

They laid in each others arms, panting, covered in sweat. None of them said a word, and after a while, they both drifted off to sleep, while holding each other.

When Nick woke up early the next day, Kandomere was not beside him. Confused, he got up and thought for a moment it was all just a dream, but then he picked up the elves scent, which the covers were literally drenched with.

He got out of the bedroom, and found Kandomere, dressed, sitting at the table in the living room, with a cup of coffee in his hands. There was a second cup standing in front of him. It was still dark outside and Nick wondered for how long has the elf been sitting here.

He got closer and the agent handed him the second cup, not looking at him.

“That’s a nice garden you have.” he said, and Nick looked over to his colorful collection of potted plants and flowers on the fire escape.

“Thanks…”

“No. I should be thanking you, for… for yesterday.” He still wasn’t looking at nick.

“You know I was glad to help you.” Nick said, scratching his neck nervously.

Kandomere sighed. “I know. I know you like helping others, I know that you are a good cop, a good man…” he stood up and placed the empty cup on the table. Then he turned towards Nick and the orc saw something in his eyes, a soft expression he would never have expected on the face of this serious FBI agent.

Kandomere placed his hand on Nick’s shoulder. “I will never forget that you helped me.” He said quietly. Then he turned away, took his vest that was hanged on the chair, and left the apartment.

Nick stood there, absently touching the spot on his shoulder where Kandomere’s hand was a few seconds ago.

Montehugh was waiting downstairs, after his partner called him early this morning. He didn’t ask anything, just drove Kandomere to his house.

Daryl didn’t ask any questions either, though he sometimes snickered when he thought about it.

Their paths crossed sometimes, of course, but they kept it professional. Nick never saw the looks Kandomere gave him when he turned away, and the elf in return never noticed how Nick’s ear twitched when he heard his voice. 

And Montehugh sometimes wondered, why his partner kept a dried Jasmine flower in his badge wallet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why am I like this.

**Author's Note:**

> Not sorry.


End file.
